Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Has anyone ever tried any specific strategies to stay warm and cozy indoors during the winter months?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What are the most common signs that a partner will cheat before it happens?

I have a reading level above third grade

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Imanaga Rehab, Boyd Shoulder, Reliever Swaps, and Other Cubs Bullets - Bleacher Nation

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

Artists get better with age, e.g., painting. Yet when it comes to pop music, the famous work tends to be written when musicians are in their twenties. So, why aren't Bob Dylan or the Stones banging out amazing tunes now?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can read

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What is your analysis of Walter White from Breaking Bad?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

“NASA’s Ambitious Venture Unveiled”: A Groundbreaking $488 Million Mission With a New Telescope Set to Revolutionize Space Data - Rude Baguette

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists

Children of slain Minnesota lawmaker Melissa Hortman: 'We are devastated' - ABC News

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

The Simple Rule That Seems To Govern How Life Is Organized On Earth - IFLScience

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Pokémon Cafes To Serve Incredible-Looking Plate Of Food That Can Mega Evolve Before Your Eyes - Kotaku

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why all the fuss about Trump’s policy initiatives? Isn’t he just trying to set a moral tone for the Republican Party to make America great again?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Review: Genki Attack Vector - A Modular Switch 2 Case Which Opts For Comfort Over Protection - Nintendo Life

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Could Patriots cut Stefon Diggs and owe him nothing? It’s complicated. - NBC Sports

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”